HUMAN HOST AND VIRAL PARASITE- Andromeda Strain

WHAT HAVE YOU BROUGHT HOME NOW?

Scooped up by a Satellite sent into space for the purpose of bringing samples of microscopic life back to earth, the Andromeda Strain (1977) of virus is incredibly robust, and able to exist even in the vacuum of space. Once on earth, it instantly kills (almost) every human and vulture it comes into contact with.

The Andromeda Strain. Another bird flu?

This alien virus is truly alien in that it seems to reproduce more like a bacteria than like a virus. As you will recall from my Mutation, Part 1 entry, viruses use the resources of a host cell to replicate. Earthly viruses cannot reproduce without a cell to infect. Not so for the the Andromeda Strain.

Our nation's best scientists have found this microbe to be capable of using energy to undergo a mitosis-like process in which the virus makes copies of itself(1). In the words of one researcher regarding this process, “It’s like a nuclear reactor!” The logic and meaning of this statement is somewhat fuzzy in the film. As a matter of fact, scientists in the film state that a nuclear explosion would release so much energy that the virus could be induced to replicate at astronomical rates. Therefore the nuclear option as a method of viral containment is out. It is also a crystalline form of life, something that we don’t see here on good ol’ earth every day. (Or any day, really.)

This crystalline virus will use "energy" and nothing else...

... to divide and reproduce in mitosis-like fashion.

SUCK IT UP (YOUR NOSE)

This virus is inhaled, reacts with blood in the lungs, and initiates virtually instantaneous clotting that emanates from the pulmonary circulation through the trunk, and out to the extremities.

High-tech seventies style imaging of spontaneous coagulation of blood in a rhesus monkey exposed to the virus.

Of course, instantaneous death is the result with primary Andromeda infection. An incision of the skin of an infected (dead) person releases a dusty stream of sand-like blood from the wound site.

Clotting and dehydration!

HEAVY BREATHING, HEAVY DRINKING

Is there no cure, vaccine, or other prophylactic measure that can help us control the spread of this airborne threat to human and vulture-kind(2)? Well, it turns out that hyperventilation may produce changes in blood acidity, making it more alkaline, and discouraging Andromeda viral infection. The microbe grows well in the presence of normal levels of blood carbon dioxide(3), less well with oxygen(4). The stuff can thrive in a vacuum, but mess with a simple thing like blood ph and it falls apart.

Signs and symptoms of primary Andromeda Strain infection: shortness of breath, instantaneous death.

Here's a young woman dead of Andromeda Strain infection. Needless to say, she got more camera time than any other casualty of the virus in this film.

Treatment: Increase blood acid or alkaline levels, through vigorous anaerobic exercise (increases acidity) or hyperventilation (increases alkaline). Additional treatment may be attempted through hyperventilation, or drinking of Sterno. Yes, Sterno or other forms of denatured alcohol. Nuclear devices are contraindicated.

Drink this at your next fondue party to treat your Andromeda Strain infection.

1. During mitosis a cell will make copies of its DNA, organize matching sets of DNA/genetic material at either end of the cell, and then the cell splits into two, making a perfect copy of itself.

2. It kills beagles, monkeys, and rats, too!

3. Increased levels of carbon dioxide in the blood (which can happen with vigorous exercise) increased blood acidity, for you trivia buffs.

4. As your breathing rate increases with vigorous exercise, you blow off carbon dioxide, and end up with more oxygen in the bloodstream which makes blood more alkaline.

HUMAN/ALIEN SYMBIOSIS

WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?

The complicated relationships of alien to man can be examined on a number of different levels. When we explore human/alien symbiosis, we should understand the basic dynamics of such relationships.

In a nutshell, symbiosis describes the intimate relationship of two dissimilar organisms living in close association to one another. When discussing human/alien symbiosis, I am not describing the cultural intimacies associated with the “prawns” and humans from District 9, nor the sporting relationships of the Predator and his human prey, for these types of relationships are relatively casual without any significant form of biological commerce.

Inter-species sporting activity is not an example of symbiosis

Specifically, I wish to explore many manifestations of alien/human parasitism: a relationship in which a parasite (alien) benefits from this intimacy, while the host (human) is harmed. Other forms of symbiosis such as mutualism(1) and commensalism(2) do not apply here.

HUMAN HOST AND ARTHROPOD PARASITE

Animal/arthropod relationships are exceedingly common. Lice, mites, and fleas are common infesters of humankind. Itchy, embarrassing annoyances at best, and carriers of deadly disease at worst, these critters have sucked human blood, drunk human sebum (skin oil), eaten skin flakes, and burrowed into our skin for thousands of years.

Lice are not aliens, but they are blood-sucking, sebum-drinking parasites.

Most direct harm caused to human hosts by these relationships is minor. However lice and fleas can also be vectors for disease, transmitting microbes responsible for bubonic plague and other nasty illnesses.

ALIEN ARTHROPODS

The Alien relies on a host of any variety of life forms, during an incubatory phase in its life cycle. An Alien larval organism emerges from its egg, possessed of four pairs of legs. These legs enable the organism to spring at the “face” of a host be it dog, human, or predator.

Alien larvae launching at faces.

This larval stage creature, according to the wiki literature, implants what has been referred to as an “embryo” in the chest of the host. Implantation may be through esophageal or tracheal penetration, but no definitive data has been collected as yet on this subject.

Alien incubation has been seen in both the thoracic and abdominal cavities(3). Most symptoms of Alien infestation are symptoms of cardiopulmonary distress, as opposed to digestive disorders, or abdominal complaints. However, it is important to remember that gastrointestinal conditions like heartburn and acid reflux can cause sternal and epigastric pain that mimic angina(4).

Pain from heartburn can mimic angina.

Pain from angina can mimic heartburn.

Nestled within the mediastinum of the chest, between the lungs and the heart, the Alien develops into a nymph that is called a “chestbuster” in wiki speak(5). While ensconced in its host, the human is relatively unharmed. However, when the nymph is ready to re-emerge from its encasement, it punches out of the chest wall, like a baby chick on a cocktail of speed, meth, and steroids. During this process, the nymph destroys the sternum, ribs, adjacent musculature and all associated vascular structures.

The "chestbuster" alien nymph.

Additionally, the vigorous physical activity necessary for breaking through the thorax, will also likely cause lacerations to the lungs, pericardium, and heart. This process usually kills the host organism (providing) they possess a heart and lungs in the thoracic cavity. For this reason, a Vulcan may survive Alien parasitic infestation of the chest, but not of the abdomen.

Signs and symptoms of alien infestation include: short term memory loss with vague associations of anxiety and terror, palpitations, dyspnea (shortness of breath), and angina.

Endstage signs and symptoms include: excruciating chest pain, collapsed lung, sternal and rib compound fracture, hemorrhage, bleeding, muscle tear, unconsciousness, and death.

Currently there is no known treatment for alien infestation.

1. Mutualism is a relationship in which both organisms benefit from their relationship. The relationship between human beings and the beneficial bacteria living in their guts is considered a mutualistic relationship.

2. Commensal relationships neither benefits nor harms the host supporting an organism. Eyelash mites living (you guessed it!) on your lids and lashes are often used as an example of this form of relationship.

3. Different movies, and scenes within the same Alien movie, will show Aliens emerging from the chest, and/or the abdomen. The films are not clear.

4. Angina is chest pain, usually signifying that the coronary arteries are not supplying the heart with enough blood.

5. I'm assuming a more formal, scientific name would be "chestbuster" in Latin or Greek.

HOT DOGS AND CHILDHOOD DISEASES

WHAT KIND OF KIDS EAT ARMOUR HOT DOGS?
This just came in, over the (email) transom, from my friend Todd Alcott. Not only is Todd a brilliant screenwriter, he can crack a pertussis joke that is actually funny. You'd be amazed at the number of really boring pertussis jokes out in the world. Here's the link to his six-minute short, Ad Men.

THE CINEMATOLOGIST AT KEVIN GEEKS OUT

ALIEN PARASITES AND HUMAN HYGIENE

I thought it might be fun for everyone to see my contribution to Kevin Geeks Out - About Aliens! May 21st. It was a wonderful show! There was a tinfoil hat contest, alien cupcakes, the works! At the end of the video, you will see Kevin, our host, wearing makeup, disguising himself as an alien. The lights are dim, and the video is grainy, so the dark green skin and yellow zig-zag don't quite register. You will have to take my word that he was quite impressive!

The lecture is about 8 minutes. It covers the main topics of alien parasites that will appear here in future posts. But there is a lot of detail that had to be left out of the live presentation. Future posts regarding alien parasite infestations will have new little gems of information not seen here.

THE HIDDEN

I've been doing some research about aliens parasitizing people for an upcoming presentation at Kevin Geeks Out About... Aliens! this coming Friday, May 21. (Buy your ticket now. Kevin tends to sell out.) Of course, this is my favorite kind of research because I get to watch science fiction movies, and I LOVE science fiction!

After watching eight movies, I realize that I have too much material for a six minute lecture, so I thought I'd start up my parasite-themed explorations here with The Hidden, which isn't making it into my presentation.

HIDDEN CHARMS

These parasitic aliens come in two forms: slug-like organism, or golden vapor. In either case, the parasite enters the host through the mouth and is somehow able to control their body completely. The subjective experience of the host is not known, as no one has lived through an infestation to relate their experience.

How is a five pound(1) tendrilly, slimy slug, entering a hosts body supposed to posses and control someone while sitting in their digestive tract(2)? For that matter, I'm not sure I understand how a golden, sparkly, vapor would be able to control the mind and body of a person, either.

This man's burnt skin doesn't gross me out as much as

the alien coming out of his mouth...

.... and going into his!

Kyle MacLachlan gives Michael Nouri the vapors.

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS

Signs and symptoms of slug infestation include:

1. Physical activity in spite of life-threatening disease or injury
2. Anti-social behavioral changes including robbery, physical violence, and murder
3. An appreciation of relatively obscure 80's punk music
4. Death

Practice safe oral hygiene! Don't let alien parasites embarrass

you with poseur rock and a boom box!

Signs and symptoms of vapor infestation include:

1. Low tolerance for alcohol
2. A fetching innocence regarding the proper administration of Alka-Seltzer.

Drop it in the water, silly.

TREATMENT

Unfortunately, treatment inevitably kills the host and parasite. The only known therapy for this particular parasitic infection is to kill the human host with a flame-thrower (see photos A and B). This will cause spontaneous migration of the slug from the host body (photo C). One can then terminate the parasitic alien via a space-age weapon that will vaporize the creature, but is ineffective on human tissue (photo D).

Photo A: apply flame thrower

Photo B: death of host is eminent

Photo C: slug leaves host via the mouth

Photo D: slug is vaporized

In this particular case, prevention is the best treatment.

1. Approximate weight.

2. Has anyone noticed that aliens parasitizing humans (Alien, The Hidden, etc.) are never excreted anally?

Mutation - Part Three

Emma Thompson as Alice Krippin. I bet she'll be playing Hilary Clinton within ten years.

CATCH UP

Here we are in Manhattan, sometime around 2010. According to I Am Legend, Dr. Alice Krippin has developed a cure for cancer by engineering a measles virus to kill tumor cells. Unfortunately, that's not all her virus is killing!

QUARANTINE!

In the movie, and in the future, Manhattan will be closed off and quarantined. Apparently the threat of this oncolytic adenovirus of Krippin's has "gone airborne" and one way to contain it is by closing off Manhattan.

Avoid long lines! Plan your out of town trips early.

For those of you visiting our fair isle of Manhattan before any hint of this viral-mutation-ruckus starts up, just remember that there are plenty of other airborne diseases(1) floating around our delightfully efficient subway system, just waiting to be sucked up into an unwary nostril of every rat, dog, and human(2) venturing into the underworld of the MTA.

This rat took the "V" (for VIRUS) train!

UNRELIABLE EQUIPMENT PROMOTES SPREAD OF VIRUS

If we want to leave Manhattan, through an official check point, we will have our eyes screened with a device that seems to show a magnified image of the iris, displaying bleeding, or something red(3), caused by viral infection. This would not cause the hemolacria discussed in Mutation - Part Two. The detection device seems somewhat questionable in terms of its accuracy. It tests Robert Neville's wife Zoe as positive for the virus and then at the insistence of Neville, they try it again, and Zoe gets a green light (literally).

First scan indicates viral infection.

Zoe gets the green light 5 seconds later.

Faulty equipment means that we who are infected but not symptomatic should be able to get out of Manhattan with no difficulty, infecting our friends and family in Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, Staten Island and New Jersey. Indeed, that seems to happen. By the year 2012, there are barely any non-mutated people left in all of the world.

TAKE THAT FINGER OUT OF YOUR NOSE!

I know what you're asking yourself ... will I get the virus? Who will be the first to come down with the mutating measles? Before the virus mutates and goes airborne, nose-pickers and eye-rubbers who have virus on their fingers will be the first to be infected.

Even heads of state are not immune from this mutated virus

or the temptation to stick their finger up their nose.

Next will be people who have touched an object touched by an infected person and people who have been sneezed on or coughed on by an infected person.

Should Junior stay with Gramma, or go to nursery?

Either way, we're doomed!

This means infants, toddlers and children in day care, and people in nursing homes will get it first. As the virus mutates toddlers and old people into violent bald superhuman panting veiny photophobes, the terms "ankle biter" and "crotchety old man" will have a whole new meaning.

Wow! I'm glad no one tries to turn smallpox into a cancer cure anymore ... oh, wait! They do!

Here's the link for

the article pdf

1. Tuberculosis can float in air for at least a couple of hours. Of course tuberculosis is a bacterium and not a virus. Neither will it make you a photophobe with super-human strength.
2. In the movie, we see that rats, dogs, and people are susceptible to this virus, while deer and lions are not.
3. My understanding of eye anatomy is weak, but I believe that any kind of capillary perfusion or bleeding under the cornea or around the iris would also cause visual disturbances. Anyone care to comment?

Mutation - Part Two

VIRAL MUTATION WILL LEAD TO THE END OF HUMANKIND

Thus far, in our examination of I Am Legend, we have established how viruses find opportunity for mutation, and what types of viruses are of interest to researchers for use as oncolytic adenoviruses targeted for cancer treatments. (If that sentence makes no sense to you, go to the Mutation - Part One blog entry, March 6. Or you can just read on.)

Has anyone noticed how many movies starring

Will Smith have medical themes and show off his hunky arms?

Exercise has been clinically proven to enhance immune system function.

THE FUTURE IS NOW

As established, I Am Legend relates events that are about to ruin our lives, happening as I write this... blog! Using the film to read the future, we find that some time last year, in 2009, Doctor Alice Krippin engineered a strain of measles virus (paramyxovirus)(1) in an attempt to cure cancer. According to the film, we should expect to hear any day about Krippin's 100% cure rate for cancer by using this new viral strain in her experimental treatments.

Emma Thompson as Doctor Alice Krippin

If we are on schedule with I Am Legend, this viral cure for cancer will mutate, running horribly out of control, infecting and killing us sometime this year. It seems that this mutated virus has an infection rate between 90 and 100%, depending on your statistical source.

According to Wikipedia, once infected 90% of us will die, 8% will turn into a horribly degenerated vestige of mankind, and 2% are not affected at all, but will be murdered by mutated humans.

Mutant human attempting to murder the uninfected (talk about mood swings!)

So the brilliance of I Am Legend is that the virus used to cure cancer not only mutates its own DNA as it gets out of control and "goes airborne," but also mutates the DNA of the human host. Our entire scenario is a double mutation! For you trivia buffs, run-of-the-mill measles virus is already "airborne."

Spring colors (like blue) are all the rage this

season for the raging pandemic!

According to the movie, at any moment in 2010, we will begin to feel the initial signs and symptoms of viral infection. Many viral infections start in the same exact way, regardless of whether they are lethal, or mutating, or not. Influenza, HIV and polio all start with fever, headache, body aches, malaise. This pattern is commonly described as "flu-like symptoms."

This woman has signs of infection

with a horrible mutating epidemic,

or maybe it's the flu.

But because this is a mutated measles virus, hacking cough, sore throat and runny nose should develop tout suite, or it could just be H1N1(link for photo below.)

Oh my gosh! She sneezed! It's going airborne!

It is not clear if people infected with the mutant virus get a rash like measles,

A measles rash on the back, from an informative

article in the New York Times.

but they do develop a permanent fever (possibly as a result of the mutated adenovirus' hyper-stimulation of the body's immune response) and an accelerated metabolism...

Monitoring metabolism in the film.

...and photophobia, just like measles. I should point out that photophobia affiliated with measles infection does not make the patient's skin smoke and burn.

Double mutation induced photophobia is due to strike

the New York area in 2012 or sooner. Note the smoking epidermis.

People infected by the mutant virus also go on to lose all their hair except for eyelashes, have increased muscular power(2), increased coordination, and display behavioral changes and mood swings.

Patients may be prone to violent outbursts.

Their pets may also experience mood swings.

There also seems to be a bleeding eye thing that presents itself as a sign of infection with the virus. This bleeding eye event should not be confused with the hemolacria experienced by the character Le Chiffre in Casino Royale (blog entry CASINO ROeYeALE).

Infection with Krippin's mutated paramyxovirus

leads to bleeding from the eyes. Now we know it's not H1N1.

Le Chiffre may be infected with evil, but this is

not the result of his hemolacria.

Next time we will track the spread of this virus through the general population.

1. Paramyxoviruses are a group of viruses that cause upper respiratory illnesses like measles, mumps. These are airborne viruses. According to Wikipedia, from Greek para-, beyond, -myxo-, mucus or slime, plus virus, from Latin poison, slime. Ick!

2. Enhanced muscular endurance is not documented in the film.