VALHALLA RISING

I saw Valhalla Rising the other night. Wow! I've never seen such braining! And the scar tissue was excellent. Only three words of criticism; not enough pus. Let's face it, unhygienic Norsemen with all those wounds need a little pus.

Mads Mikkelsen (as One Eye) is now in my top three Cinematologist Yummy Movie Stars list.
The other two are Will Smith and Sigourney Weaver, in any order.

HUMAN HOST AND PLANT PARASITES- Invasion of the Body Snatchers

SEND ME NO FLOWERS(1)

Exclusive of the occasional pine tree seed taking root in human lung tissue, there are very few instances of plant life living on or in human tissue.... on this planet.

Xray of pine sprout growing in lung tissue. Is it real? A hoax? Does it really matter?

Plant life is not to be confused with fungi that parasitize human bodies, producing pathologies such as athletes foot (tinea pedis), ringworm (tinea corporis), and jock itch.

This was the most benign athlete's foot picture I could find. The link is above.

Most plants leave humans alone, seeking fertile soil elsewhere. But this is not so for the plant-like creatures in the 1978 remake of Invasion Of The Body Snatchers. These vaguely hibiscus looking flowers(2), use tendril-like shoots to contact and assimilate the bodies of the host human, who is slowly, over the course of hours reduced to a fibrous ash.

As you sleep, these alien plants parasitize you...

creating a replica of you by using your original proteins and enzymes, I assume.

The next day your fibrous, ashy, carcass is disposed of by city sanitation services.

Although the people emulated by the body replicating plantlife will report the “new” life of an outerspace flower human as being preferable to their old purely Earthly human life, this first-hand report of a mutualistic symbiosis comes from an unreliable source, and requires further study.

Signs and symptoms of space flower plant infestation include: drowsiness, flaking skin, dry mouth, coma, dehydration, rebirth as a new life form.

A new you!

Anti-fungal sprays and creams such as Tinactin and Lotrimin are ineffective against plant parasites. They only work against tinea (skin fungus). In the case of Body Snatching, prevention is the best treatment.

Better for jock itch, not useful for Body Snatcher treatment(3).

1. How could I resist a tie-in between a Doris Day/Rock Hudson hypochondriacal comedy, and the 1956 and 1978 horror classics, Invasion Of The Body Snatchers?

2. I am most definitely NOT The Cinemabotanist! The flowers look like little hibiscuses to me, but they also look like primroses, from my ignorant perspective.

3. This would be like using an antibiotic for the flu or common cold.